No Pride Left!

You know how I just love to delight you all with stories from my life! Well, hang on to your hats, cause this one takes the cake!! I'm just gonna give it to you the way that it happened, I think that is best.

This past Thursday my husband Glen and the oldest of our four children, Chelsea, were on their way home from Bemidji, MN where they had been for a few days. Glen had been working on fixing up a rental house that we own there. It had been a much bigger bathroom remodel job than what he had anticipated. It took longer than he thought, and pushed back their departure to a much-too-late-for-comfort-time. Chelsea was scheduled to work at Panera Bread here in Eau Claire at 5:00pm Thursday evening. It is a six hour trip from Bemidji to here, so 11:00am would have been the latest time to leave!

They left at 12:00 noon.
They got stuck in construction.
The truck does NOT have air.

By the act of a loving God, and the direct pressure applied to the accelerator by my husband, they somehow made it into town at 4:47pm. I was at the door to Panera waiting with her work clothes. Chelsea hopped out of the car, grabbed a quick hug and her things and ducked into the bathroom. I want you to know that she was clocked in EARLY, and the rest of her night went great! But that is just the background info on my story.

Previously in the day I had decided to fix a nice meal for my Love when he got home. I chose a pork roast and a new recipe with a mustard-herb rub. You cannot go wrong with mashed potatoes and my man, so they were on the list for a side dish. The potatoes were from our garden, and we also had a bumper crop of cabbage. I thought I would combine the two to make Col cannon Potatoes which is an Irish dish (we are not Irish) that we have enjoyed "out", but I have never made at home before. That's alright! I'm pretty confident in the kitchen. I can cook up a mean meal and pull it off with flair! For the veggie I chose broccoli, also from our very own garden. Glen loves his broccoli. I was fairly certain this was a meal that he was going to enjoy. I got started on it as soon as I got home.

Tired from his race-with-time and the job that he had been working on, Glen hit the shower after a quick greeting to Lane, Gabi and Aidan. There were some mouth-watering smells coming from the mustard-herb rub on the pork in the oven, I was sauteing the cabbage when I heard a strange sound. It was a "Yoouu-whooo". It was repeated. "Yoouu-whooo!" I turned around to ask Aidan why he was making this noise, but to my shock I saw my friend Bee instead of my son! For those of you who don't know her, Bee is my friend who went to hear my Bethie (Beth Moore) in Green Bay with me. She is fun loving and somewhat spontaneous and VERY endearing! She brought her husband with her...he is our pastor. Did you all just feel your breath catch?? I sure felt mine! Actually, I think I just stopped breathing altogether for a moment. Now you must understand two things...1. We have not had them over for dinner yet. We have been in our church for 20 months now, and though I have had very good intentions, it hasn't happened. Paul, our pastor, has not been out to our farm until right then. (Usually I would be sure it was CLEAN before I invited our pastor over!! ) You understand! 2. Paul and Bee are incredibly personal and open people. The first time I met Bee, I went to her house to pick up a child of mine who had spent the night there. She met me at the door with her robe on, socks scrunched up and the most adorable bed-head I have ever seen!! Carrying her large cup of tea in her hands she gave me a tour of her house right then and there. I knew instantly that this woman was one I could be friends with!! Folks, it takes a very secure individual to give a stranger a tour of your home in your jammies and make her feel like a dear friend! That is my friend, Bee. She would bless me to tell you all of this.

I ran to tell my Love that Paul and Bee were at our house. He joined us (cleaner and fully clothed) in a few moments. We chatted with the Larsons. Glen walked Paul down to the barns to show him around some and I was chatting with Bee while the impending question whirled in my head..."Do I ask them to stay for dinner? Do I ask them to stay for dinner??" over and over again. I was staying cool on the outside, but on the inside I was really starting to be a little stressed. You just want things to be nice when you have someone over for the first time!! I took a deep breath and a deep plunge and they accepted. Literally praying out loud, "Lord, please let this meal be alright!", I whisked the kids into a working frenzy, instructing them on setting the table and finding the extra chairs. Everything was finished and we sat down. Glen asked the blessing on the meal. I just know that the Lord has a HUGE sense of humor. He just has to.

We passed the dishes of broccoli and Col cannon. The slices of pork were served and we each began to lift our forks and take our first bites. I believe there was a conversation going on about broken toes (Bee had just broken two of hers!), when Glen interrupted. "Wait everyone!" He said. Looking at me across the table and smiling as though about to burst into laughter, he continued, "The broccoli is full of WORMS!!" It was true. Those little green cabbage worms that hide stealthily among the florets of broccoli were there, and they were a numerous force indeed!

Words cannot express to you the emotions that surged through me then, and even now, days later!! Disbelief, horror, a strange feeling of detachment as though it was happening to someone else, not me at all! Can't you just picture my polite pastor with a small pile of dead worms on the edge of his plate?? Or worse, biting into one!! Oh gracious! *sigh* That is it, dear ones! Yet another story from my life that must make you incredibly thankful that you live yours!

I could not find a way to make the evening end on a better note. I had not planned to make anything for dessert, not even a Texas Chocolate Sheet Cake (which I understand, can help guests through a not-so-great meal when they know that they have cake to look forward to). I had nothing. No homemade caramel sauce. No homemade marshmallows. No Texas Chocolate Sheet Cake. Nothing.

Paul did promise not to use my moment-of-shame in a sermon illustration. Later on Bee told me that he thought it was "endearing"!?!?! I still can only shake my head!! There is good news though! It can only get better from here!!

ps. If, at any time you feel like getting a good laugh, feel free to share my story! It does seem to have that affect on people!